Unravel Cancer: Experiences with family battling cancer: Ring in 2010, Wring Out Fear

31 December 2009

22:08 Ring in 2010, Wring Out Fear

Happy New Year to everyone! Thank you to all who offered tremendous support through a very tough year.

In 2008, I couldn't wait to get to 2009. Now that 2009 is quickly coming to a close, and the "naught's", I'm not so eager for the change.

Yeah, it's been a helluva year, cancer notwithstanding. But, the difference this time around is a lack of fear.

A few weeks back, my favorite radio station KALW, played a show called Binah. The show featured Rabbi Harold Kushner, and his book "Conquering Fear". (Both podcast links are listed b/c I'm not sure which one will still have the show).

The lecture blew me away, as the key message was "God doesn't want us to be afraid". He went on to describe the phrase "put the fear of God in you" was a mistranslation of Hebrew that instead meant something like, "have respect & awe for the divine".

I've been reading a lot about people wishing for 2009 to be over, since it was such a crappy year financially. But banks and economists won't solve our nation's or world's problems. Being afraid for the future will only make matters worse.

So, as I come into this next year, I'm humbled by the tragedies in my family this year, and walk forward with a peace, a trust, in a power greater than me, that all will be ok. No longer do I have that despairing, deeply-rooted fear that only misery & suffering await me and all other creatures. No longer do I see not only a glass half empty, but stained with the blackness of dried blood from pure, unadulterated hopelessness. It's just not there anymore.

No matter what wrench gets thrown in my machine, everything will work out ok. Life isn't just good, it's great! And no tragedy or awful thing can shake that greatness.

What do any of us have to be afraid of anyway, a bad hair day? Losing our jobs? Losing our lives? My worst nightmares may happen, or they may not! So, why bother worrying about the worst, when I can simply enjoy the best of each moment?

A good friend who studies meditation asked me one time, when I was fretting about losing my job, "And then what happens?". I said blah-de-blah, etc, and he said "And then what happens?". He kept saying it again & again no matter what my response was. It was a huge learning experience that no matter what my fears were, there was always a next step, another option, another place that moment would go.

As friends with newborn babies, and elder grandparents, and all other people I know & love in-between cast a new net in the coming year, take heart of Rabbi Harold Kushner's words, "God doesn't want us to be afraid." Our fear is a product of our own minds. It's fueled by propganda news, and horrible "end-of-the-world" movies, and psuedo-reality TV showing humans at their worst. Just switch that dial off in your head (and on your TV), and let go of the fear. We all create our own happiness, just as much as we create our own misery through fear.

May your 2010 year be fear-free, joy-filled, and hella-fun. Cheers to all!

XOXO :)

Labels: fear, higher power, Rabbi Harold Kushner, trust

Breathe.

I'm a 30-something professional woman who's mother & brother were both diagnosed with Grade 3 Astrocytoma tumors within about a week of each other. My mother's tumor is in her brain, and my brother's tumor is in his spinal cord, causing him to lose feeling in his arms & legs. These writings are about my experiences dealing with them, coping, loving them, loving myself, and living my life knowing that they are both dying. I hope you find inspiration and courage from my writings to help you get through whatever is going on in your life.