Unravel Cancer: Experiences with family battling cancer: Last Weekend

08 June 2010

23:43 Last Weekend

I spent last weekend in Denver, visiting my brother & his family. Coincidentally, my cousin was graduating from DU, and I was able to celebrate with him & my aunt's family also.

The weekend went from start to finish without a hitch, til the very end. The entire time was a miracle, absolutely a gift from a Supreme Being.

Highlights included:

--spending the afternoon at the Botanic Gardens with my dad, laughing, smiling, contemplating, and simply enjoying each other's company

--my brother asking his kids to skedaddle outside so he could have time to talk with me & Dad

--my sister-in-law looking me in the eye, then hugging me

--playing in the community pool with my nephews & their cousins

--resting on a lounge chair for an entire hour! Although I couldn't nap because of the noise, it takes a lot for me to just do "nothing"

--seeing the sun poke through the clouds at sunset just long enough for me to shoot a photo of flowers & a cool statue at the gardens

--eating scrumptious high-end "chi-chi" dessert at a dessert bar with a good friend, sharing philosophies, laughter, and The Apprentice

But the creme de la creme, piece de resistance, and all those other fancy French phrases, was sitting in my brother's family room, with my oldest brother too (!), watching Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals. For once in our lives, us siblings all had something to relate to, something allowing us to "get along".

Every time the Blackhawks scored, we all cheered. Every time there was a lousy penalty against our team, we booed. We played with the kids, my nieces & nephews, and watched them fake WWF wrestle in front of the TV. I got to hear my cousin, and my brother say "please" and "thank you" to the kids, through clenched teeth, as they told them to stop standing in front of the TV so we could watch the game.

If you didn't see the game, here's the recap:

The entire weekend was happy, joyous, & free, just like my 12-step program promises. Never in all my days did I think these things would happen. I had so much fear that my sister-in-law would block me out of her life, and prevent me from seeing my nephews, after my brother passed away. Certainly this is still a possibility, but now at least there's a good chance that won't happen.

I got to see all the best sides of my brother, all the sides I like the most. His generosity, his thoughtfulness, his silliness, his concern, his good intentions for others, and his vulnerability. Truly I have to thank my Higher Power, and myself, for all the effort I've put into the 12 steps, to help me accept reality, this situation, my feelings, and still be present, show up, and offer love & compassion as best I can. By helping me to see my self-centeredness, this program has relieved me of the need to make this horribly tragic situation all about me.

I'm so grateful to the Chicago Blackhawks organization for having an awesome team in the finals right now. The evening just simply wouldn't have been the same, without that bonding moment. The players have brought me so much joy (and mental relief), and also our family.

The hiccup at the end was interesting: due to horrible mileage program rules, I was forced to take a connecting flight through Pasco, Washington, population 55,000 on a good day, in Southeast Washington state. Hoo boy. As fate would have it, the first leg was delayed, and I was automatically rebooked to a non-stop flight later on. The gate lady asked me if there was any issue, since I wasn't going through Pasco.

"No, not at all!", was my passionate response. I explained letting go of the Pasco part of the journey, went with not even a wiff of regret; my final destination was SFO.

To my surprise, she was delighted! The flight to Pasco was triple booked, apparently, and she really needed that seat for someone else. I was happy to oblige.

Just in case, she booked me standby on an earlier flight, which would arrive around the same time as my bag. "You see", she explained, "it's too late to re-check your bag onto your flight now. It'll go through Pasco and arrive to SFO a few minutes after you land."

Although it was odd, I took the ticket and ran! Bags & stuff aren't nearly as important as me getting home at a reasonable hour on a non-stop flight, because already I'd have to schlep from SFO to Oakland. (only being allowed to fly to SFO was another mileage program snafu)

Not only did I get on the standby flight, I got an exit row seat! Woohoo! It was like winning the Mega lotto jackpot! I had enough room to cross one leg over the other! In fact, there was _so_ much room, I almost couldn't sleep because there was nothing for my body to brace against.

That's where my luck ran out. Sure enough, my bag never arrived. It still hasn't. I'm kinda bummed because there's about $250 of climbing gear in there, not to mention my phone chargers & stuff. But, my Blackhawks hat & jacket went with me on the plane, so the rest doesn't really matter.

Unsolicited advice: don't EVER book a domestic United flight with miles. Always save up for a long international journey with at least one connection. The restrictions on the domestic mileage flights are horrible; I've never felt more hosed by corporate bureaucracy in my life.

GO BLACKHAWKS!!!

LONG LIVE MY BROTHER!!!!

Labels: cancer, Chicago Blackhawks, family cancer, love, siblings

Breathe.

I'm a 30-something professional woman who's mother & brother were both diagnosed with Grade 3 Astrocytoma tumors within about a week of each other. My mother's tumor is in her brain, and my brother's tumor is in his spinal cord, causing him to lose feeling in his arms & legs. These writings are about my experiences dealing with them, coping, loving them, loving myself, and living my life knowing that they are both dying. I hope you find inspiration and courage from my writings to help you get through whatever is going on in your life.