Unravel Cancer: Experiences with family battling cancer: Blame

27 October 2009

11:54 Blame

Boy, I almost got stuck in a quagmire of blame on that last post. Thankfully the ODAAT was in my desk drawer, and I remembered to crack it open. I looked up "blame" in the index, and read all the entries. These golden nuggets are from those pages.

--"On this day I promise God and myself that I will let go of the problem which is destroying my peace of mind. I pray for detachment from the situation..." (pg. 3)

--"Now I'm learning to look squarely at each difficulty, not seeking whom to "blame" but to discover how my attitude helped to create my problem or aggravate it. I must learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to correct myself when I am wrong. Accepting responsibility is essential to becoming mature. There is no advantage, no profit, no growth, in deceiving myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes." (pg. 78)

--"The bad moments will pass if I do not blow them up into tragedies. ...can help me accept these shocks with equanimity and send me on my way to a better tomorrow." (pg.147)

--"...we can get unlimited benefits from changing our way of thinking. Let's stop throwing blame around. What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything? We would experience miracles of tolerance and grace - rich spiritual rewards, reflected in a life of real fulfillment. Whom have I the right to blame? Let me concentrate on keeping my own conduct from being at fault; more I cannot do." (pg. 268)

--"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments. I must realize that every time I feel someone has offended or injured me, at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted. Much that happens to me, good or bad, is self-created. Blaming others for what happens to me would keep me at a spiritual standstill." (pg. 347)

These ideas can apply to all things, like the cancer that strikes a family member, or a passionate tryst with a young fellow, or failure for the home designate to take out the garbage on time, etc., etc.

Hope they are helpful for all of you.

Labels: al-anon, alcoholism, blame, family cancer, self-help, spirituality

Breathe.

I'm a 30-something professional woman who's mother & brother were both diagnosed with Grade 3 Astrocytoma tumors within about a week of each other. My mother's tumor is in her brain, and my brother's tumor is in his spinal cord, causing him to lose feeling in his arms & legs. These writings are about my experiences dealing with them, coping, loving them, loving myself, and living my life knowing that they are both dying. I hope you find inspiration and courage from my writings to help you get through whatever is going on in your life.