Unravel Cancer: Experiences with family battling cancer

01 October 2009

08:56 Rollercoaster: Mom

As blogged before, my mom was in the hospital in recent weeks for Parkinsonian-like tremors on the right side of her body. For two weeks, she was in an intensive rehab place, to help her get back to caring for herself. She's had to re-learn how to fold clothes, dress herself, bathe, etc. She's now back at my brother's house.

I can't imagine how demoralizing this might be for her. She's one tough cookie. Two brain tumors in a year and a half, one cancerous, plus the cancer of her son...it's amazing she hasn't gone postal.

So, I want to have compassion and forgiveness for her. But this was quite an emotional rollercoaster...

I called her a few days after she'd been in rehab to check on her. Her voice was slurred and she seemed out of it. She said it was a new drug to stop the shaking. Later on, after she left, she told me of an incident with a really crabby nurse, and other mistakes around drugs, etc. It was frightening, for sure. Those old familiar feelings of helplessness came back, as I trudge through my work-a-day life, thousands of miles away, and unable to help her or do anything for her.

She's now got outpatient rehab 3 times a week at a clinic that is 1 zillion times better than the in-patient place. She's also planning to get a home healthcare person for the days she's not going to rehab, to help her. I don't know all the details, but I think the rehab place would only release her if she had someone to watch her daily. Since my brother & sister-in-law both work, she has to hire someone.

She now sounds a million times better. It turns out the anti-shaking drug was at too high of a dose. Her oncologist discovered the snafu. I'm very lucky that my mom is feisty, and asks a lot of questions. Without her constantly asking for explanations and discussion, she could have been in an over-medicated state for a long time. No matter what people say about proposed healthcare systems, etc., things are really broken; we've got to do something, even if it isn't perfect out of the gate. If we as a nation do nothing, it'll continue to deteriorate. That's my editorialization for the day. :)

Fox knows I have no idea what she's going through, but gosh, it's hard to hear her up & down emotional state about all this. I can't recall hearing her so down the first time we talked while she was in rehab. Her low attitude really scared me, because if she doesn't keep fighting, then she's a goner.

*exhale*

So we carry on. Most of my life has been really great. Even when friends I haven't seen for a while ask me how my mom is doing, I'm able to tell them without being negative, mopey, or teary-eyed.

Lot's of good stuff with the 12-step program - stay tuned for more!

Labels: clinic, healthcare, Parkinson's, rehabilitation, tremors

Breathe.

13:12 Not So Good Update

Unfortunately, my mom is in the hospital once again. Fortunately, not for the cancer.

She has had tremors in her right arm, and a gimpy right leg for about 2.5 years now. Many doctors early on thought both of her brain tumors would help alleviate the shaking. But, the symptoms persisted.

Personally, I feel it is related to stress & anxiety, heavily. I noticed many times when caring for her that the tremors were worse when she was scared or nervous about something. But, whether stress & anxiety contributed or not, how does a person get treated for this sort of thing when the symptoms are at such an advanced stage?

At any rate, although initially taking a dip into gloom, with thoughts of what it might be like to attend her funeral some day swirling in my head, this is probably a good thing. It seems like her hew doc in Chicago is not taking any chances, and wants to ferret out the cause of these symptoms once and for all.

Knowledge is power. Although I'm worried for her holding up in the face of a battery of tests, it'll be really good to get down to the bottom of her tremors and create a treatment plan. Without knowing what's going on, there's no recourse for healing, and thus, no hope.

So, I'm deciding to be hopeful today. My brother said this is not an emergency, so there's no need to ride the toboggan of misery on the slippery slope of despair. It always ends up crashing into a pile of unhappy s&*t anyway...

Instead, this is a good opportunity to further advance her healing. She has been in such a strong mood anyway, that probably she's glad to have someone finally pay attention to her other ailments. Last week she seemed pretty feisty in her desire to lay the tremor issue to rest. In a way, her wish was fulfilled.

Even so, for those of you who know my mom, and me, please send your prayers and positive energy her way in the next coming days.

Love & gratitude.

Labels: cancer survivor, cancer treatment, hope, hospital, toboggan, tremors

Breathe.

I'm a 30-something professional woman who's mother & brother were both diagnosed with Grade 3 Astrocytoma tumors within about a week of each other. My mother's tumor is in her brain, and my brother's tumor is in his spinal cord, causing him to lose feeling in his arms & legs. These writings are about my experiences dealing with them, coping, loving them, loving myself, and living my life knowing that they are both dying. I hope you find inspiration and courage from my writings to help you get through whatever is going on in your life.